every breath I take

The strange brown cloud, climate change and my inheritance have resulted in this recent ailment.
I can't breathe.
I've had asthma attacks before. But taking a puff from my little inhaler seemed to make everything normal again. But not now. It's more than 2 Weeks but every breath I take is laboured. I can feel the strain within. Which brings me to think of all those breaths that I have wasted cribbing, bitching, fighting. There would be millions of them. If only I could have them back.
There isn't much I would do with them, I guess just some ordinary things. Like run up the stairs. Talk to those who have been under the impression that am ignoring them.
But most of all why I want all those breaths back is so that I can sing till sa of the higher octave without breaking a breath. When reciting the seven surs, I have begun to feel the strain at pa and by nee am gone. With all those breaths I would go sa re ga ma pa dha nee sa. Sigh